In 2023, my husband – the sole financial provider for our large family – left his job.
He was working all the time & making more than he had ever made in his life, yet come the same evening of payday, we were back to $0. Something had to give.
It didn’t help that a few months earlier, in March, there was the largest cut to EBT benefits throughout America that I ever had seen happen in the last 12+ years that I have used them, which also began the “great reset” of eligibility determination.
We went from over $1500 a month to a little over $300, almost overnight. It was terrifying. Over 42 MILLION families were affected by this, and continue to be greatly affected by this as food insecurity continues to rise, prices continously rise & fluctuate, and food banks continue to not be able to keep up with the growing demand.
When he left his job, I put in an application at the little Beer & Wine Bodega around the corner from my house. I had already been a regular for years, picking up beers for my husband, so I already knew the store well and even though I don’t drink, I am decently knowledgeable of beer. I got the job – one day a week. I cried, but I could handle that. It was a significant pay cut to what he was earning. I quickly gained a 5-day work week as several employees all resigned at the same time, which just as quickly became too much for me to juggle homeschooling & homemaking so I had to cut my schedule. My duties at home and homeschooling my children are my greatest priority to me.
🍎 Food
The very first thing I did was update this life change with Job & Family Services. Our monthly allotment was then changed to around half of what his monthly wage was.
The first few months afterward, I utilized the local food pantries to build a stockpile of canned & shelf stable foods. Canned food is not my pick when feeding my family, but having a stockpile to care for my family in emergency was top priority for me at this time. They have come in handy in the times when we run out of food money before the month is over.
My next step is to begin canning my own foods and slowly replace all of the canned foods I’ve built up with their healthier counterparts.
I stopped buying any & all prepared foods and began only buying ingredients to keep a well-stocked working Pantry. Since we have a large family and 99.9% of our meals are homecooked, I buy as much as I can in bulk at Costco.
I began learning how to make almost all of our families food from scratch. I stopped buying anything that I could make myself out of necessity, which turned into a passion and a newfound love for real food. Food at the store no longer looks or tastes like food to me, it all tastes and looks fake.
I don’t eat meat, but my family does. I also utilized the food pantries to stock our meat freezer. The local deli offers weekly & monthly variety meat bundle specials (typically ranging $30-$60, and usually includes small extras such as bread, pastries, or random side items) that I will buy to stock our meat freezer as well. Any meat I buy that we end up not making goes to the meat freezer to save for a later meal. Stocking up at Costco also helps significantly.
Our pets took a significant hit in the quality of food we can afford. However, they are still fed and that is my priority at this time. We have had to go to the Food Bank for Pets a few times. The local Church Food Pantry near my home offers pet food that I pick up each month. Since you only get 1 pet food at a time, I pick which is running lower (cats or dogs), but sometimes I get blessed with both. We make our own dog food a few times each month, but with 4 large huskies it doesn’t stretch very far. My mom’s dog, a Toy Poodle, luckily dislikes everything & my Mom loves to try everything on the market, so we end up with boxes full of rejected dog food and treats which helps a lot. I watch for sales on pet food & watch the free sites for pet food being given away for various reasons (pet is picky & won’t eat, pet passed away before finishing, etc.).
Grow what you can. This helps a lot, even if it’s only 1 thing. This last growing season we had: tomatoes (large & cherry, several varieties), cabbage, Broccoli, potatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, jalapeño peppers, onions (white, red, green, shallots, & leeks), watermelon, pumpkins & squash (very low yield for how large of a plant it was), various herbs. We also have a peach tree & an apple tree. This upcoming year I’ll be adding a few more fruits & veggies, plus our chickens will be laying eggs. Seed sharing can cut down on the cost of plants. There are Little Free Seed Libraries where people share seeds for free, maybe there is one in your area. Some local libraries also offer free seeds.
I have shared previously about the Produce Perks program in my area that helps low-income families get free produce from participating Farmers Markets. Similar programs may be available to you.
Use coupon apps like ibotta when you shop to get cash back on purchases. I pay at the grocery store as normal with my EBT card and then select coupons that align with my shopping, and upload my receipt. I earn real cash back on my shopping trips that I can then save up and use on items that I cannot pay for on EBT such as hygiene products or pet supplies.
This is not exactly food related, but additional discounts are offered with proof of an EBT card. Amazon offers 50% off Prime Memberships, you can get free museum memberships at participating museums, free or discounted admission at other children’s activity centers/zoos, you can get free phones or discounted internet access, discounts on utility bills, access to free transportation, access to free veterinary services, and much more. Make sure to check in your area what discounts are offered.
👗Clothing
Even though we homeschool, we are allowed to use the local public school resources. Our local public school has a free clothing room that is run by a beautiful soul named Sandy. Parents donate clothing that their 1-2 kids have grown out of for other parents in need to shop. I get most of my children’s clothes here, and donate as often as I can as well. I consider it “clothing recycling” as well as a way to combat fast fashion. Check your local school district to see if your school offers this, and if not, consider talking to their board of education to start one in your area in a vacant room or even closet. It is a great benefit to the community.
There are other Free Clothing resources available such as Give Like a Mother. Foster children can shop for free at Hope’s Closet. Both Foster & Kinship families can shop for free at Jack’s Closet. I have no experience with any of these organizations, but they seem wonderful. *** If you are interested in donating children’s clothes, please consider organizations such as these before donating to gross corporations such as Goodwill. Domestic violence shelters are another great place to donate, as many times victims flee their situation with no belongings.
The FreeStore Foodbank has a clothing room and St. Vincent de Paul offers clothing Vouchers that can be redeemed at any of their thrift stores. Some food banks offer free clothing once a month as well.
NextDoor and Facebook Marketplace both offer “free” sections where you can find clothing and many other things that others are giving away for free, or at least very affordable. I’ve bought giant bundles of 200+ clothing items for $25. Any items we want to pass on get donated to Sandy’s Clothing Closet.
On Freecycle, you can make a post asking for specific items you need that someone may have to give away. Before buying, I will always try this first.
Always check your local thrifts first. Thrift stores have sale days with certain items on sale. Make sure to check their list to see what is for sale that day. Usually a large chalk/whiteboard will be near the front door with this information, or signs throughout the store. If you can’t find this information, just ask an employee. Some thrift stores have a blanket discount on a certain day of the week. For example, my favorite one offers 25% off everything every Monday, plus other discounts for holidays & different items throughout the week.
I went back to cloth diapering our only child left in diapers. I had already done this for years until I was injured during his birth, while I was bed-ridden & got a taste of the convenience of disposable diapers. Going back has saved so much money and eliminated the worry of not being able to monetarily meet my child’s basic needs. I strongly believe every mother needs to invest in at least one pack of cloth diapers to have on hand for emergencies.
Learn skills to be able to make your own items you need. Whether that be sewing, mending, repurposing, crochet/knitting, tie-dying or other means of creating. Old, stained (but in otherwise good condition) can be given new life with tie-dye. Hand sew or mend holes with scrap fabrics. Crochet/knit new dish towels, wash cloths, scarves, hats, blankets, socks, etc. Turn torn items into cleaning rags. My oldest daughter, Ella, sewed me the most beautiful chicken apron for my birthday, and it means more to me than anything from any store ever could.
🏠 Shelter
We use our entire tax return to pay forward on our bills. Since we have a large family, we get back a decent amount back in child tax credits. The same day the deposit hits, we immediately pay for a year’s worth of rent to make sure our family has a home of our heads. We put as much as we can towards our energy bill. Sometimes we need to replace large item appliances with this money, which would come from the total we put towards the energy bill. We did this even before he quit his job so that we live without bills. We have had much less to work with since he quit working though – after rent we were only able to make it through half the year with our remaining bills before we had to pay monthly again.
I did have to get assistance from the church when we received a electricity disconnect notice. That was the first time in my life that has ever happened, and it was scary. My mom picked up the remaining portion of the bill and I am very grateful she was willing to help us. Now that our bill is back to a manageable amount, I am going to stay on top of that and my family is working more diligently at turning off lights in rooms we aren’t using to save money.
If you need to avoid disconnection, you can also apply for a one-time financial assistance benefit directly applied to your utility bill through the H.E.A.P. program. You can also enroll in the income-based PIPP program to set up bills to consistently be 10% of your monthly income if you are struggling to afford your utility bill each month.
I watch free sites for people giving away furniture & home items and upgrade/replace our things for free. I find landscaping & gardening items this way too.
I drive around on large items pick up days “shopping” people’s trash to replace our things too. The perfectly good items people throw away are insane. I am always watching for any items placed on curb & 9 out of 10 times will stop to check it out. So many people in my area just leave everything they do not want anymore at the curb, it’s a guarantee you’ll drive past at least one house that has free items outside every time you leave your house (whether the items are good or not is another story.) My dad calls me when he sees really good items I could use while on his walks. I also spent a few days going through the contents of an eviction where I replaced so much of my kitchen and Closet for free. I’m currently cleaning out the basement at my work, and my parents ask for help with their storage clean outs. Re-using things others are decluttering is a great way to upgrade your items. When I upgrade items, I first see if I can reuse the old item in some way around my home. If not, the old item goes to the curb (or donation if nobody wants by trash night) to pass along to someone else.
Hand-me-downs from friends & family downsizing. My best friend gifted us a King Size bed, which I’ve needed for a long time now but couldn’t afford, when she decided to get a smaller one for more space in her room. Grammy Kat & my parents both always check with me before getting rid of items they do not want. After sharing about my chickens, my friend Ms. Mary offered a horse trough to us that was no longer being used & needed new life! That was a huge help to us! Typically, people would rather see their previously loved items carry on and be loved by new families than thrown away. I watched my parents do this as I was growing up, and it’s something that I value a lot now as an adult. It warms my heart when I hear people such as my cousin speak fondly of receiving their item, or seeing my old, childhood furniture on my wedding day at my childhood babysitters property we got married on.
For home repair/needs, shop Menards if available in your area. They give an 11% rebate that never expires. I save these up to do bigger projects around the house, but during this time they have been helpful for times we ran out of pet supplies or other necessary items to have a way to obtain those items.
Home items such as laundry detergent, dish soap, and toilet paper are available through your local food bank or community center.
There are programs available for low-income families to get help with needed home repairs. My unique living situation does not qualify us for their repair services, but I know they have helped many people in need.
🚗 Transportation
I get gas at Kroger gas stations, alternating between mine and my parents phone numbers (with their permission) for discounts. I can fill the tank of my Explorer for around $35 this way, but rarely do I have the funds to fill it up all the way anymore. The discount still helps stretch our gas.
Walk. This is obviously easier & more comfortable in the warmer months than we are currently in, but even in this weather I have walked to my job in times of need. During the warmer months, the children & I walk everywhere we can. We bring a garbage bag with us to pick up trash along the way. Not only does it save on gas costs, it is great for your health & better for the Earth.
Priorities + Tips
I learned that I had a spending problem, a big one, especially when I was still on social media (mostly, Instagram). I felt that I needed to buy all this unnecessary stuff to keep up with the moms I watched. I’d spend an entire paycheck on just a birthday party. I was living WELL beyond my means and my husband was working himself to death in an intensive labor job to keep up with my impulsive spending. That was hard to admit. I have had to learn to live without & be incredibly grateful for what I do have. I’ve learned less is more. I have had to learn to live on almost nothing to work with while providing for a large family. I have had to walk only an inch in his shoes of how hard he worked for our family. He also got to see how much work went into being a stay at home parent. It wasn’t as easy of a job as he assumed it was. We both have a better understanding of each other’s roles.
I thought that I knew how to budget, I did not. Well, I knew *how* to budget, I just didn’t understand how to budget.
We had to learn to prioritize what we need vs. What we want. We had to decide what was considered a necessity (toilet paper) or luxury item (paper towels). We had to learn to live without the luxury items. Each week, we had to learn how to decide which items were of greater need and which ones we could go without a little longer. We learned to save for bigger items or celebrations we knew were coming.
One of the first things I did was cancel everything, immediately. I didn’t want anything automatically being charged, throwing us in the dreaded overdraft struggle. We canceled all subscriptions we had, all extra-curriculars we were in. We adjusted to our new life with nothing, then slowly added what was important to us: piano lessons & Ms. Natalie, our homeschool “teacher”. Some weeks we had no money and had to miss a week with her.
Since we homeschool & don’t social media, my children have absolutely no clue that a single trend exists in this world or that they are even “missing out” on anything materialistic, saving us large amounts of money and keeping them from blindly following the crowd.
I only keep cash now, no cards at all for spending. If a payment must be paid electronically, I put the rounded up amount into my checking account and immediately pay the bill. The leftover amount from rounding is then transferred to my savings the night before I get paid to build a savings. It isn’t much – a few cents to a few dollars – but it adds up and is handy for small, unexpected emergencies. When I have cash, I avoid spending it. When I used a debit card, it didn’t register as “real money” to me, until I saw the bank statements and it became *very real.*
I’m not going to lie: this hasn’t been easy & this lifestyle DEFINITELY is not for everyone. The hardest part was already drowning, but needing to keep the entire boat afloat myself. Knowing my entire paycheck was already spent before picking it up to cash, yet being told a laundry-list of items I needed to miraculously come up with, sometimes with urgency. If I didn’t already hate money before, I certainly do now. I’d get rid of it entirely and live only through barter & trade if I could.
It has given me a new perspective on life and new values, though. It has taught me to be exceptionally resourceful & given me so much unexpected confidence both in my abilities at home and in life. I feel very grateful that I got to spend this time with my family together at home for the most part & that my husband got this time in their young childhoods getting to bond with them. He had been working for so long, missing out on so much of their lives. Our days of all being together are coming to an end as he prepares to start back at the career he walked away from, so I am just trying to fully embrace these days, although it’s very bittersweet.
I hope this finds the mama who needs to hear it so she knows that with faith, she too will get through this.
Until next time ♡ Mama Morozov
From Heroin to Housewife 