Welcome back to another week of the Mom Set Free Bible Study! I’m late to share again, but This week I’m working through Week 1, Day 2. Things are getting a lot more vulnerable!

This is one of my favorite quotes: “I will not treat my blessings as burdens ♡.” I feel like it is such a huge reminder to us all and something that I absolutely need to repeat daily to myself.

• Share your most recent experience here.

For some back story for those who don’t physically have the study book in front of them: the author, Jeannie Cunnion, is explaining she had a rough night with a teething baby, woke up too late with not enough sleep and older children to get ready for school, no quick food to give for breakfast and a new puppy that needed walked. She asked if I have ever had a morning like that.

Since we began homeschooling, our mornings are no longer as hectic as that which is one of my huge homeschool “whys.” I honestly don’t want to ever go back to living those kinds of mornings on a regular basis. Having the freedom to not live by society’s schedule gave me back the freedom in motherhood. It allows my children to sleep in and listen to their bodies cues. It allows me to make sure they have a hot meal for breakfast every morning. It gives me time to attend to my youngest’s needs, who still wakes up very much needing some snuggle time with mama.

However, on Sunday mornings that we have Ukrainian School, we are often reminded of this early morning rushing. Putting lunches together that I forgot about, not having ingredients needed. Not having time for breakfast beforehand. Making sure no one forgets their books or folders. Getting together and getting there. My husband not wanting to wake up, so now I have to get Moses ready & bring him last minute without his snuggle time. I can’t concentrate on school with him there. Not having enough gas to get there, but not having enough time to stop for gas. Working the entire day & night before made it impossible to prepare at all and I was so exhausted I fell immediately asleep once I got home & waking up to wrangle everyone before they – or I – am fully rested was too much for me. I had to cut a couple hours off my shift so that I can better manage.

Jeanne’s friend, Heather, confessed her parenting burden that she was carrying: “her soul has carried around the 500-pound lie that it’s all up to her to control the outcomes.” She then openly asked others to join in the discussion and share the lies that were creeping into their minds so that she could encourage them through God’s truth & to pray for them.

• How did it feel reading those responses?

The responses in the book were: “Any other mom could do it better.” “I’m not good enough.” And, “I can’t do this mothering thing one more day.”

I can definitely relate to Heather that it’s up to me to control every outcome & fix every problem. I can relate to the general phrase that I’m not good enough, not specific to motherhood. I tell myself that I’m not doing enough. I tell myself I’m failing.

The other two statements I cannot relate to at all. Sure, there are moms who can do some things better than I can (especially getting places on time), but when it comes to parenting, there is not a single mom on this Earth who can do a better job than me at being my kids’ mom. They were meant for me, and I for them. I truly feel that in the last few years I have really found myself as a mother. I know that this is my calling. When we first began homeschooling, my biggest pet peeve quickly became hearing other mothers say things like “I would/could never be around my kids that much,” when I mentioned homeschooling. Or when mothers would complain about “the weekend not being long enough away from” their kids. There is absolutely nothing my kids could do to make me *want* to send them away for their entire day, every day or every weekend or possible opportunity just to not be around them. I want the opposite. I want them to be with me as long as they possibly will. I want to give them a reason to want to stay at home and not rush out as soon as they turn 18. Motherhood is the single greatest gift that I have been blessed with in this life and to hear other moms talk so negatively about it is really disheartening to me. Those are not the kind of thoughts I want influencing my mind.

• How would you answer Heather’s question: “What lies are creeping into your mind as you parent?”

– I’m not worthy/enough to be Kaden’s mom. – I’m ruining my kids. – I’m lying about how many kids I have (6 feels like a lie, but so does 5.) – I’m doing such a bad job. – I am failing. – Everything is my fault. – I don’t belong with these other moms.

• From where do you think those lies stem? Are they self-imposed? From society? From specific people in your life?

I’d say a little of everywhere. Not a single day of my life that I can remember have I ever felt like I was enough. I carry a lot of trauma from my emotional needs not being met in childhood and many adults drilling in my head how bad of a child I was. I carry a lot of trauma with me because of Kaden not being with me. I struggle a lot internally about why I am good enough to be a mom to the rest of my kids, but not Kaden. I carry a lot of trauma from my addictions. I spent so long trying to “prove” myself when I got sober that I never learned how to live as an adult without proving myself.  I dealt with a false child services report with my second child (which was very quickly closed) by someone who intended to hurt me & my family and that also traumatized me very much. That same person threatened to kidnap my child which had me on edge at all times, living in fear. I feel like so much of my early parenting revolved around real fear & uncertainty (not just thoughts of it) that it implanted itself in my brain very deep and is always there.

• We are urged to do what? (Romans 12:2)

Fix my attention on God

• And what is the benefit of that?

I will be transformed from the inside out

• Let’s personalize this for our parenting. What are your thoughts and emotions as you ponder this verse?

I can stop striving to be enough because I already am enough to God. I do not need to push myself past my limits just to be enough. I am not God and I need to stop trying to control every outcome and let His plan unfold. I need to stop believing that if only I do more I will be enough. I need rest.

• Who God is, which is: sovereign , and what God gives us, which is: grace , is enough.

• What does Jesus invite us to do?

Come to him and put down the burden of trying to live up to impossible standards and take on the lighter yoke of Grace

What does Jesus tell us about His heart in these verses?

He is gentle & humble

What does He tell us He will give us?

Rest in our soul. Grace. Freedom.

• Read Matthew 11:28-30 again, but this time  please insert your name at the beginning.

Madison, are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

• Read Matthew 11:28-30 one more time and note the ways Jesus says we will learn to live freely & lightly

• 1 – Walk with Him
• 2 – Work with Him
• 3 – Learn from Him

*** We learn to live freely and lightly by abiding in Him, not by trying to be Him ♡

Close with Prayer.

Thanks for being here with me on my motherhood journey as I work through this Mom Set Free Bible Study. I appreciate your support more than you know. I hope that you find the inspiration to also set yourself free & take control back of your motherhood with me.

Until next time ♡ Mama Morozov