October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.
Most women who suffer a miscarriage are “allowed” to return to work the following day. A lot of women HAVE to return to work the following day for financial reasons.
I was one of those women. The doctor handed me the paperwork stating that I “may return to work,” and sent me on my way. I showed up for my shift even though the only place I wanted to be was in my bed.
I don’t work anymore, but I used to work at a bar. I worked through my miscarriage at 10 weeks in April 2017. It sucked; really bad. I was definitely off my game, I will admit that. I had a mother/daughter team get on Yelp and leave awful reviews about me, which I was written up for. I was in both physical and emotional pain from losing my child, still there to work my shift, and to serve them their greasy ass food with a smile.
The point of sharing this is that I am asking you to please be kind & forgiving to those you encounter. You don’t know what another person is going through. You could be catching them on the literal worst day of their life, and they are just trying to make it through the day so they can go home to breakdown. Stop being the Karen who just wants to bring everybody down.
1 in 4 women have a miscarriage. That means 25% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. They are very common.
What isn’t as common is talking about it. A lot of women are left to cope alone. Its time we break the silence. It’s time we stop feeling ashamed.
If comfortable, please share your experience with returning to work or daily life after a pregnancy or infant loss. Did you feel rushed? Did you feel supported?
There isn’t much on the internet about this topic, and I want to hear your story! Your baby mattered. I grieve with you, mama.